Wednesday, November 01, 2006

3 weeks

My voice has really been struggling in the past 3 days - it's almost like I'm on the verge of losing it entirely. I know it's only temporary, but it's kinda scary in the sense that I don't know what it will sound like when it eventually settles down. In my first week of T, I could monitor the change in my voice because I still had one, and felt like I could get a feel for where it's heading. Now however, it's kind of like sending my voice away on vacation, not knowing how it will have changed when it finally comes home.

I'm also finding that I have to be a little careful - I've been craving salt, and while I've been good about keeping my sodium levels down, I think that I am retaining a little water as my fingers are a little fatter on some days. I haven't been as strict this past week with my diet, so that may have contributed to it. Will see how the water-retention goes this upcoming week.

What else... Having not shaved my jawline for a week, I can feel the hair growing in nearly all the way to the bottom of my jawline. It definitely feels coarser than peach fuzz, but it's nowhere near how coarse the hairs on my upper lip are, which are themselves still well short of producing stubble a bloke can be proud of.

3 Week Summary

Hair- Corners of upper lip need shaving every 2 days. Visible "stubble" on off-days if I look closely.
- Sideburns need shaving every 2 days as well.
- Hairs along jawline have gotten slightly coarser, can feel them nearly all the way down my jawline after 1 week not shaving.
- Patches of long, coarse, dark hair on inner calves are growing.
- Previously unnoticable fine hairs on legs are getting darker and coarser.
Skin- Skin on my face is still a little oily, no change from week 1. Am starting to use a daily facial cleanser instead of soap and water.
Build- Haven't noticed any change from week 1.
Voice- Sounds almost like I'm on the verge of losing my voice. Fluctuates a little during the day.
- My voicebox feels a little restricted and I have to squeeze my voice out (like when one is nervous).
- Voice breaks or no sound is produced when I sing in my mid-to-higher ranges.
Libido- Still slightly increased, but definitely not as dramatically as before.
- Clitoris has settled down a little, but I'd say it's had about a 50% increase in length/size.
Misc- Craving salt, but managing to resist so far.
- Noticable effects from water retention, i.e. fingers slightly fatter.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Day 17

Finally, I'm nearly done bleeding. It's about time - I really hate getting my periods, and getting one right after another really bugs me. Anyway, thankfully it's nearly over, and hopefully that's the last one I'll get. Ever.

My libido is now well under control. As a result, my little buddy isn't in a constant state of excitement and therefore has settled down to a more manageable size. I'd say it's had about a 50% increase in length and head size so far. I do still feel a strong sexual charge, but it's no longer the only thing I can think about now.

I finally went out and got some face care products today. A mild everyday cleanser, a facial scrub because I can actually see the pores on my skin now and don't want to have to deal with black/whiteheads, and a toner to help close them up. I'm not really liking the effect on my face already, because I've gone from having smooth clear glowing skin to slightly oily, slightly blemished skin with visible pores. Let's see if the products help.

In other news, I actually have *stubble*. I'm having to shave every 2 days to stay presentable, specifically at the corners of my upper lip. On the days between shaving, I amuse myself with how prickly the area feels when I run my tongue over it. In the mornings before the shave, I can feel the stubble with my fingers. As it is, I feel that the hair follicles are visible (well, more so than before) even right after the shave. Sideburns haven't had any noticable development.

Moving on, the hair on my legs have also been changing: the patches of longer, dark, coarse hairs on the inside of my lower calves have been spreading, and previously unnoticable fine hairs are now becoming darker and coarser (although I'm not sure if they're actually growing longer). No change with any other body hair.

After being surprised by the initial change in timbre in my voice, I noticed that my voice didn't seem to be getting any more masculine in the last 3 days. In fact, it's become a little squeaky at times, and changes quite a bit throughout the day. Sometimes I have a nice clear mellow voice, and other times I sound like I've just woken up. Last night, I noticed that I had trouble with my higher ranges, where my voice simply breaks or no sound comes out at all. Woke up this morning feeling like I had the start of a very, very mild sore throat coming on, and it's stayed with me all day.

One thing I'm disappointed with is the effect on my build so far. I haven't really noticed very significant increases in stamina or muscle growth that I'd attribute to the testosterone. Based on the cardio and weights I'm doing, my progress hasn't shown any significant deviance from the progress I'd expected. Well, as long as I'm continuing to lose fat and gain muscle/endurance, I guess I shouldn't complain. Maybe it'll really hit when I go on the 250mg doses.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Day 12 - 2nd shot

I got my second shot today because I wouldn't be able to get in on Wednesday. It was a fairly quick affair, mostly because I'd had to be squeezed in at the last minute and the poor doctor hadn't even had time to eat anything all day.

Anyway, I got a rise in my libido again about an hour or so after the shot. Nowhere near as dramatic as the last time, but remarkable nevertheless. Other than that, my skin continues to be noticably oilier than before, although nothing much would show up on blotting paper if I used some. I do however need to look at getting some facial cleanser before it actually starts to become problematic.

Something new I've noticed - the beginnings of hair growth. I stopped shaving my legs early this year, and I actually already had a patch on the inside of my lower calves with long dark coarse hair. I've noticed that this patch is starting to spread though, i.e. the finer hairs in the surrounding area are getting darker and coarser.

By the same token, the two patches of hair on the outsides of my upper lip are feeling a lot stubblier. While before I'd take care of the fine growth maybe once every 2-3 weeks, it's been 5 days since I had a shave and I'll definitely need one tomorrow. I can also feel a stubble-effect when I run my tongue over the area, so it appears that the hair may be growing in coarser.

Finally, I've been taking care of my sideburns once every 3 days in the last week. In the last 6 months I've cut my sideburns short, and the stubbly bit only went halfway down my ears; it was all just peach fuzz the rest of the way. At the moment though, when I run my fingers upwards along my jawline to my sideburns, I feel the stubbliness start at about the bottom of my earlobes.

All this is very unexpected, considering I'm only 2 weeks in. It remains to be seen if the initial reactions are noticable, and then they settle down for a while before more changes come in. Until then, I guess I'll just amuse myself with what's already happening!

P.S - I forgot to add that the quality/timbre of my voice continues to change. It's most obvious when I sing, although there hasn't been enough of a change for most people to notice. I've been told that I'll sound like I have a cold, but that hasn't happened yet. I did have that "just woken up" voice last through the whole morning today, though. Maybe it's coming up soon.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Day 10

FINALLY, I'm a human being again. The sexual urges are still there, but they're no longer overwhelming. I've also come to a happy realisation - I may not have to go through this again after my next shot. I actually naturally have a day or two when I'm very charged up just before I get my periods, and maybe this time around the effect was magnified with the addition of testosterone. I hadn't realised this at the time for obvious reasons, so I'm looking forward to being proven wrong on Wednesday.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Day 9

Ok, it's official - I'm definitely having a mini-period here. And I'm definitely feeling the difference in my voice. Had to do lots of yelling around today and I definitely felt a kind of "openness" in my voice/throat, making it easier for my voice to come out, and I definitely noticed a kind of baritone resonance coming through.

I was worried about having to work hard to not lose my singing skills, but I've found a sudden control and I'm able to hold my notes extremely well. I should explain that in the months leading up to my first shot, I was finding that my vocal chords were becoming a little lazy and unpredictable. So this is also a very good thing.

Can't wait for next week's shot.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

1 week

Well, it's been 1 week exactly, and I can report the following: I AM A BEAST! I haven't been counting, but I'd estimate that I've *ahem*, helped myself out, about 8-9 times over the day, every day, since Monday. It's a little bit of a problem, because I've been getting so worked up that yesterday I couldn't make it through the day (having had to spend a couple of hours each with 2 gorgeous young ladies that I've been outrageously flirting with recently) without squeezing a quick one out in the restroom, just so that I could be a normal functioning human being again. Also, I'm starting to feel quite sore from all the, uh, manhandling.

Yesterday I could obviously feel that my little buddy was a little less "little" (say that quickly 7 times), but this morning when I once again woke up with a rager, I took a quick look and realised exactly why - Mr. Happy has easily doubled in size! No wonder I'm walking around like a caveman! 2 other things of note are this (if you're prudish or just don't want to know, please skip ahead to the next paragraph): firstly, the "head" is now extremely sensitive to friction, definitely too sensitive to pay any attention to; and secondly, I've noticed a difference in the orgasms that I'm reaching. It's difficult to explain, but I guess that the point of urgency is reached a lot quicker, and instead of a sudden explosive orgasm, it's a more sustained ascent to the climax. Maybe I should do charts.

Moving on, again, it may be because of the weight I'm dropping and the daily lifting, but I've noticed that in addition to feeling more "solid" in the shoulders, my upper arms are looking a little more defined. My biceps, which have been getting a little extra attention in the last 2 weeks, look bigger to me as do my deltoids.

Another thing I'm not 100% sure of is my voice. I didn't really expect any changes before the 3rd shot, but being someone who sings a lot, I've noticed a slight change in timbre in my voice. I feel a little more comfortable using my grungy tone, which is quite a nice surprise. It wouldn't be noticable at all to other people when I talk, but I definitely feel a slight change there.

Apart from the slight oiliness on my face, that's about all I've noticed 1 week in. No mood swings, no development in the hair area. I should note that before starting T, I had baby sideburns and could grow a small patch of dark thick hairs on the outsides of my upper lip. I predict that facial hair will come in quite well for me and quite quickly.

Well, another week to go before my next shot - can't wait to see what that brings!

edited to add: Again, skip this bit if you're prudish or just don't want to know. I forgot to mention that I had a little bit of bleeding yesterday, not light enough to call "spotting", but kind of like a very, very light menstruation. This is notable because I'd finished my last menstruation just before getting the shot.

1 Week Summary

Skin- The skin on my face is noticably a little oily. Little blemishes appearing, but possibly due to menstruation cycle.
Build- Shoulders feel a little more square and solid, but may just be psychological.
- Upper arms look a little more defined, but probably due to all the working out and the constant fat loss.
Voice- Slight change in timbre, only noticable when singing in the lower ranges.
Libido- Sex drive has been insane.
- Clitoris has easily doubled in size.
Misc- Feeling hungry more often, craving proteins.
- Experienced slight bleeding even though finished my period a week before getting the shot.

Monday, October 16, 2006

5 days now...

... and I was right. I have started to feel the testosterone kick in MAJORLY. Went to bed last night feeling a little amorous, but it wasn't out of the ordinary and I didn't think anything of it. This morning, however, was a different story - my little buddy must have woken up a few hours before I did because when I got up in the morning, I had the equivalent of a raging woody. Now *this* was out of the ordinary.

Had trouble concentrating all day today - had to deal with being practically constantly aroused to a certain degree. If this is what adolescent boys go through ALL THOSE YEARS through puberty, I've suddenly started to gain a lot more respect for their right of passage. I found myself actually being grateful for not having an actual penis because I would have either had to have stayed home all day or receive a lot of strange looks all day (or even possibly face arrest!).

Oh, and I've been feeling hungry in the last 2 days. VERY hungry. Been thinking of steak or a nice piece of grilled chicken all day. Well, in between thinking of you-know-what anyway. Also, my face still feels a little oily to me; well, not as "dry" as usual anyway. Most of the time I don't actually use soap on my face, just twice a week in the shower (or after games and workouts). I have had to use soap at each shower in the last 3 days (and before you say anything, I mean on my face).

Apart from that, I'm starting to feel a little different in my body. I have a strong and well-built upper body from constantly working out, but I felt a little more "solid" around the shoulders today - I can't come up with a better description than that. I can't decide whether it's the testosterone kicking in or the sudden drop in body fat (having been stagnant for a week and a half); it's too soon to tell at this point. To be honest, I really didn't expect to feel anything until maybe the 3rd week, after my second shot. Well, we'll see how we go.